I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just found puke in my bra..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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