# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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