I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
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Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
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Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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