We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
