i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
