my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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