Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
