it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
