there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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