Small penises have feelings too.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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