one two three fourrrrnication!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
