Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
