I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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