If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
