Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So much Jack, so little girl.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
