And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she pinky promised me she was 18
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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