census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
