first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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