for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
