i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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