You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
