I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
