Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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