mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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