i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
