who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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