you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize