I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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