glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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