her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize