All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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