Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
