God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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