the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
