She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
