I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
