he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
