Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
