how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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