So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
