I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i think i have herpe
just one?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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