We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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