I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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