3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize