Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
