I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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