just tell him i said nine months
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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