Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
