Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
