i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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