ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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