Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
