She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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