David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize