They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
