I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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