I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize