soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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