I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
do nipples grow back?
Randomize