I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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