If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
