me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
