What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
