before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively