I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.