Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person